One a day, better than apples.

“You hear that? That kind of muffled ‘whump’? Listen, I’ll hit it again……..you hear that?? That’s my internal dead siamese twin ‘Peter’ - I call him ‘Patter’ now though - wanna hear again?”

“We’ve been hit by an iceberg?! But this is the Titanic! Well……..shoOot. I knew I should have used the lavatory before dinner - how long’s this fuss going to take?”

So maybe you’ve noticed the lack of posts this week.  Maybe you haven’t.  We hope you have, and we hope it was tortuous and painful for you.  This whole thing has been leading up to this week… the week where we just disappear and leave the world thunderstruck and hungry for apples.

Or, this is the week where we both had unexpected swampage from our real jobs. (what? did you think this blog thing paid the billzzzzz?  Psh, please.  I mean, please: let’s make that happen.  No, really.)

So we apologize for the lack of diligence on our part and letting you down.  We hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive us.  We hope to never again stoop so low and revisit this misfortune.  In the mean time, ponder this image: The Indian Head Test Card.  Read more about it here while we collect ourselves.

We want this last puppy to find his new home. We are not backyard breeders! Just a family who’s T-Rex became pregnant.

The one pup left is male and he’s the lightest of the two pups. Momma is just under 14,000 lbs.

Will be 9 weeks soon, Jack Russell crossbreed. Please inquire if interested or to make an offer. Thank you!

I’m still not sure what good wine is. I have to call my parents to ask them what to buy: “Hey Mom, so it’s an informal dinner, we’re having some sort of chicken dish…” “Ok, well why don’t you try -“, “Hold on hold on, I’ve got to find a pen!” Truth.

“Just pick one! We’ve been standing here for 45 minutes, THEY’RE ALL THE SAME!!”

Bath toys were always pretty fun, but you had to have some type of monster in the water to create conflict. You know - build some character development, help the good guys bond together. Anyway, I never had any toy sharks or whatever, so a bar of soap somehow always became really evil.

Oop, no Barry, we gotta do it again. Looks like the head rolled a little during the scan and there’s some smear action going on. Here, try holding it in place…man, this would be like, ten times easier if a body was attached.

I told you don’t open your eyes! God, I was changing, what’d you think - I was leading a pony out here or something? Can’t a guy get a little privacy in his living room on Christmas morning?!

So apparently they finally slapped the Headless Horseman with a public intimidation charge and gave him community service repainting Sleepy Hollow’s kindergarden. Whatevs, I’m just glad he chose powder blue.