One a day, better than apples.

No you can’t bring the cat - it’s a cute idea babe, but she’s dead weight. Now put her down and let’s go - we gonna rob this bank or what?

Yep, it’s officially a party. Got the decorations all taped up (eh, wrapping paper will do), got the costume on (good luck guessing I’m a piece of grass) and activities up the wazoo (Tetris via cellphone). Sorry you weren’t invited (neither was anyone else). 

“Dude you wont believe this, while we were at the beach, someone *stole* my American flag! Oh hey, y-you still have some kelp in your hair…waaaiiit a minute! That’s my flag isn’t it?! Gazoontite, you bastard.”